For a long time, I believed leadership and motherhood were roles that needed to be carefully balanced, as though, with enough discipline and organisation, they could be held in perfect equilibrium.
They can’t.
And more importantly, they don’t need to be.
As a CFO, I’m trained to think in frameworks, trade-offs, and optimisation. As a leader, I’m expected to project certainty and control. As a mother, I’m required to be present, responsive, and emotionally available and often at the same time.
What I’ve learned is this: leadership and motherhood are not competing forces. They are deeply connected, and when they are aligned intentionally, they strengthen one another.
The Problem with “Work–Life Balance”
The language of balance suggests symmetry or equal weight, evenly distributed. Real life doesn’t work that way.
There are weeks when the business needs more from me. There are days when my children do. There are moments when both collide, and no amount of planning smooths the edges.
The mistake many of us make is interpreting that tilt as failure.
Instead of chasing balance, I’ve come to focus on alignment and recognising that the same capabilities I rely on in leadership are continually refined through motherhood, and vice versa.
Patience. Emotional regulation. Clear decision-making under pressure. Boundary-setting. Perspective.
These are not soft skills. They are leadership capabilities and motherhood is one of the most demanding environments in which to develop them.
Redefining Strength at Senior Levels
Leadership strength has often been rewarded when it appears composed, decisive, and controlled even when that composure is hard-won and costly. Motherhood, by contrast, has frequently been under-appreciated, with its complexity and decision-making intensity reduced to assumptions of endurance rather than expertise.
Both roles demand judgement, resilience, and emotional regulation. The difference is not in the capability required, but in how that capability is perceived and valued.
There are days I often leave work knowing I had a great day, led well & kick off some goals but missed something at home. Other days, it’s the reverse. Caring deeply about both doesn’t mean I’m failing rather it means I’m invested.
And that investment shows up in how I lead.
Patience. Emotional regulation. Clear decision-making under pressure. Boundary-setting. Perspective.
These are not soft skills. They are leadership capabilities and motherhood is one of the most demanding environments in which to develop them.
Expectations Are Inevitable - Alignment Is a Choice
Women are often expected to lead as though they have no children, and parent as though they have no career. Those expectations still exist, whether we acknowledge them or not.
The more important question is not how to meet them, but whether we should.
I’ve had to reassess what success actually looks like both in leadership and in motherhood and be honest about whose definitions I was using. Letting go of borrowed standards has been one of the most freeing leadership decisions I’ve made.
What’s Actually Helped Me
Not rigid schedules or perfect routines but a few practical shifts:
- Rituals over rules. Small, repeatable moments matter more than flawless time management.
- Clear boundaries. Saying no strategically is not weakness; it’s risk management.
- Micro-wins. Leading a complex meeting and still making it to sit down with the family at dinner matters. Name it. Count it.
These aren’t productivity hacks. They’re sustainability practices.
The Leadership Lesson I Didn’t Expect
A Final Thought
Leadership and motherhood are not roles to be balanced against each other. They are identities that require alignment.
You don’t need to choose.
You don’t need to prove.
You don’t need to do either perfectly.
Showing up thoughtfully, imperfectly, and honestly is leadership.
And it is more than enough
Article written by Anita Young, Chief Financial Officer
The commentary in this article in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or product advice. It is expressed solely as the opinion of the author, and as general information for the reader. It is not information to be relied upon in making investment decisions.
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